How To Support A Friend Struggling With Mental Health
Watching someone you love struggle with their mental health can be a very difficult experience. One that leaves you feeling anxious of not doing enough and constantly feeling helpless. In this article, I’m going to share gentle, practical ways you can support a friend struggling with their mental health.
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Hold Space for Them
A lot of people worry about finding the right words to say to a friend who’s struggling, but the power of simply holding space is often overlooked. Creating a space where your friend can soften and feel comfortable enough to sit in their truth can be incredibly validating and healing. It reassures them that you’re there for them, allowing them to express their emotions without the pressure of being fixed, judged, or rushed.
You can offer this space by:
Actively listening - Truly listen to what your friend is saying, rather than thinking about how you’ll respond. Allow moments of silence and stillness. Show your friend that you hear them, and give them the time they need to express themselves.
Validating their emotions - Instead of using phrases that may invalidate their feelings, like “you should be more grateful,” try to show understanding with responses such as, “I can see why you feel that way.” Invalidation can create shame, which often leads people to suppress their emotions and avoid seeking help.
Providing a non-judgemental presence - Offer gentle guidance without expecting them to take it. Accept their emotional state as it is and respect their decisions. Resist the urge to control or fix them.
Holding space means being there without trying to save them - you’re holding their hand, not carrying them on your back. And honestly, your friend will appreciate this more than overburdening yourself with things that are not yours to carry. Don’t worry about finding the right words, just be there. Present 🙂
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2. Encourage Seeking Professional and Spiritual Support
It’s important to gently encourage your friend to seek professional help. Mental health professionals are trained to hold space and support people using effective therapeutic tools. As much as we want to believe that our help is enough, we can often find ourselves being biased or not having the capacity to hold painful stories. Nonetheless, help is still required. It’s important for you to guide your friend towards getting that help. Perhaps even making an effort to find a qualified therapist for your friend, making the process simpler for them.
As believers, we are encouraged to seek means of healing, and this includes mental health support. Reassure them that seeking help is a sign of strength and an example of tying your camel.
There is no shame in asking for support.
The Prophet ﷺ said: “Seek treatment, but do not seek treatment by the unlawful.” (Sunan Abi Dawud 3874)
You can also softly encourage spiritual support through acts of worship (ibadah). This can be a sensitive conversation as you don’t want to come across as dismissive or as though you’re minimising their struggle! However, spiritual practices like salah, dhikr, and reading the Qur’an can be deeply grounding and supportive for mental wellbeing.
In the Qur’an, Allah says: “Surely in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find comfort.” Ease often comes from gently redirecting our focus from our pain to Ar-Rahim, the Most Merciful.
If you find it difficult to have this conversation, try to encourage ibadah by doing it with them. Shall we pray Asr Salah together? Shall we do some istighfar? This approach helps you avoid being dismissive and leans towards gentle, actionable steps.
“Sisters who pray together, stay together”.
3. Offer practical support when you can
Struggling with mental health can make simple tasks exhausting. Gestures like making more food and dropping it off to your friend can be of massive help and a beautiful way of showing them you care. It doesn’t have to be extravagant and a feasible way to do this is by just making more of what you’re already making.
The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “O Abu Dharr, when you cook a stew, put more water in the broth and take care of your neighbors.” Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2625
If you have more time, you could ask them what sort of food they’d like to eat and prepare a meal for them. Call them over for food or drop it off to them.
You can also offer your support by helping with chores such as food shopping, school pick-ups/drop-offs and house work. Just dropping a simple message saying "I'm going to get some food, do you need anything?”, goes a long way and reassures your friend that you’re there for them and that they’re not alone.
4. Take Care of Yourself and Set Boundaries
Supporting someone struggling with their mental health can be emotionally heavy. It’s important to take care of your own wellbeing and recognise your limits.
You are not responsible for fixing your friend’s struggles. Be mindful of your capacity and allow yourself to step back when needed. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you don’t care - it means you’re ensuring you can show up in a sustainable and healthy way.
I understand this can be extremely difficult to do without feeling guilty, but you cannot pour from an empty cup. When you find yourself feeling depleted, take a step back and turn inwards. Practice moments of solitude, increase your dhikr and self-care.
Remember to help according to your capacity. And when you take the time out to practice self-care or manage your own mental well-being, please honour it! Your kindness should always include you too.
May Allah give ease to us and those around us.
Ameen